You are My Kitten
by evilsockofghana
Summary: Ed is on the recieving end of a bad bit of alchemy. His new ears are cute, but is he still the same Ed?
1. Chapter 1

Debris fell all around them. Ed narrowly dodged a flying chunk of concrete. He rolled on the ground and came up ready.

It was a good thing he did; a spurt of fire exploded almost directly on him, and though he flew to the side, he had to stamp on his cloak to put it out.

"Al!" he called. "Al!"

He leapt over rocks and tried to see through the smoke. "Al!"

"Nii-san!"

Ed swerved toward the voice.

"No! Nii-san, don't come closer! There's a circle!"

Ed spun around to see a light gleaming on a grin in the dark, gleaming in a flash of blue light—

"Nii-san!" called Al, horrified.

A moment later, Ed's scream ripped through the air, soaring up the scale until it was painfully high-pitched, ending in an inhuman note.

The light faded, and Al rushed forward, toward the small red bundle he saw on the ground. He scooped it up and sprinted, thankful that their enemy had disappeared.

-…-

"Nii-san." Whispered Al, worried. He stared down at the small bundle in his arms.

Too small.

"Al…" said Riza quietly. "Are you sure that's Ed?"

He gazed at it. "He's breathing. There's a pulse."

"Are you sure that's Ed?" she repeated. Al could feel a slow horror sliding through him. He set the bundle down on the floor, gently. It moved slightly, and he noticed Riza suppressing a shudder.

"Ed?" her voice was hoarse. Al saw Roy shift slightly in the doorway. "Ed? Are you all right?"

The bundle shifted again, the thing beneath it rising to an upright up position, quivering.

Ed's shredded scarlet cloak fell from his shoulders, revealing two perfect arms of flesh.

Perfect, except that both his hands were small paws, his right arm was covered in fur up to the shoulder, and when he turned to face them, two enormous ears popped up on top of his head.

"There must have been a cat in the circle." Said Al, as Riza sucked in her breath. Roy only closed his eyes.

Ed regarded them with wide golden eyes and said nothing.

-…-

"Rowr. Rowr. Rowr. Rowr."

"Make him shut up!' yelled Roy, unable to stand it any longer. Riza groaned.

"Make him yourself, Roy! Don't talk about him like he isn't here!" she said angrily.

"Rowr. Rowr. Rowr."

Al got down on his knees in front of Ed.

"Ed. I can't understand you. You have to tell me what the problem is."

Roy exploded. Rushing forward, he snatched up Ed's tail, thrusting the end in Al's face.

"_This_ is the problem, Al! This!"

"Actually—" said Riza quietly. Roy and Al spun to face her, but she was looking at Ed. They turned to look as well.

"Rowr."

Ed looked distinctly uncomfortable. His face was slightly pink, and he gnawed at his lower lip with his small, sharp teeth. His legs were pressed tightly together, and he yowled frantically.

"Rowr. Rowr. Rowr."

"Oh. Oh!" exclaimed Roy, horrified. Al snatched up Ed and practically flew down the hallway with him, Roy sprinting to keep up.

"Well, this is rather anticlimactic, considering the other events of the day!" Roy yelled, his boots pounding on the tile.

"We were in that fight for a long time, okay?" Al shot back.

They skidded to a halt in front of the bathroom, Al almost throwing Ed in the door. He reappeared in the doorway a moment later, almost crying.

"Rowr!"

"What? What is it?" shouted Al.

"Zipper—his paws!" yelled Roy. He gestured frantically, unable to string together a sentence.

"Oh!" Al reached forward and quickly undid the fastenings that Ed's paws were unable to negotiate. Ed immediately disappeared into the bathroom, the door slamming behind him. A moment later, there came the tinkling of liquid into liquid.

Roy and Al slumped against the door, breathing sighs of relief. Roy wiped the sweat from his brow.

"This is going to be awkward."

"Maybe we should just get him Velcro pants or something."

"Or something." Roy sighed. "It seems there are a lot of things we're going to have to work out."

"Miaow."

It sounded much less urgent this time, and was accompanied by the sound of the toilet flushing. Roy turned his head tiredly.

"Can he reach the sink like that?" he muttered.

"Oh. Probably not. Nii-san! I'm coming in!"

Roy leaned forward as Al opened the door, and then flopped against it again as soon as it was shut. He rubbed tiredly at his temples.

"Riza likes animals. Riza can do something…"


	2. Chapter 2

"Miaow." Ed gave Al a beatific smile, curled up in his arms. Al sighed and continued to scratch behind his ears.

"Oh, nii-san…" he gazed down at his brother, who lay on his back in Al's lap, his tail curled around himself, his cheek pressed into Al's metal torso. Al stopped the scratching and starting stroking Ed's hair, and was rewarded with a low rumbling.

"I just don't know how bad this change is. It's not that I don't like the way you look now, nii-san, you look cute…" Here Ed looked up at Al, a question in his eyes. "…it's just that I don't know how much you understand. How much is Ed and how much is the cat?"

The purring stopped, and Ed pressed his face against Al again, looking saddened. Al gave his head a few more strokes, then stopped, his hand settling on Ed's shoulder.

"How can we ever know?" he whispered.

Ed continued to be sorrowful for a few moments, then decided other things in life were more important.

"Rowr!"

He leapt out of Al's arms and planted himself on all fours in front of Al.

"Rowr." He said, insistently.

"What is it? You can't have to go again, it's only been a few hours after last time, and you haven't had anything to drink….or…eat…"

He paused thoughtfully, and Ed waited, watching him.

"Well…" he said, slowly. "Cats are supposed to like milk, aren't they? But Riza said some cats get sick drinking it, so you shouldn't have any," he added hastily, as Ed puffed up and started to hiss.

He dug through the cupboards. "You don't go grocery shopping very often. None of these things look very good for you."

He walked over to Ed and stood over him, looking as stern as he could. "Now, nii-san, since you can't cook for yourself anymore, I'll have to decide what you eat. And that means that you have to eat more healthily from now on!"

Ed looked doubtful.

"Miaow?"

-…-

"Nii-san! Stop shifting that way! It feels weird!"

Al resisted the urge to squirm. He had decided that he couldn't shop for Ed without Ed, but that he couldn't bring Ed out in public. The logical solution, therefore, was to do with Ed what he had done with other cats in the past.

Not that Ed liked being shut up inside a large metal box. He kept sliding down to Al's legs, clawing his way up his head, peeking out the eye-holes, trying to climb into the arms, and sliding back down again. Al felt like he had an itch he just couldn't scratch.

"Nii-san!" he hissed, desperate.

The clawing and climbing continued. Al jumped up in the air as high as he could, then came down. Hard.

There was a loud thump, and an indignant yowl from somewhere in his insides, but Al ignored it and started walking again.

Inside, Ed was still and Al smiled to himself.

Al stopped at the fish market and began to debate between trout and salmon. The trout was cheaper, but the salmon looked tastier. A loud sigh huffed from within him, which he ignored.

He bought the trout and made his way over to the butcher's. He paused outside the shop, struck with a fit of nostalgia. Ed climbed up enough to see out Al's eyes.

"What will we tell sensei?" whispered Al, horrified. Ed slid back down again and didn't move for the remainder of the shopping trip, and had to be coaxed out once they got home with the promise of tempura.

-…-

Al was very good at making tempura. He rolled another prawn in the batter, dunked it into a bowl of ice-cold water, then popped it into the batter. He waited for it to float to the top, then snatched it up with a pair of tongs, setting it down on a plate covered in a paper towel.

Ed pawed at his leg, impatient.

"Rowr."

"You'll just have to wait, nii-san."

"Rowr."

"I said WAIT!" thundered Al, his voice echoing inside the armor. Ed pulled back for a moment, cowed, but Al couldn't hold back his giggles and Ed was soon pawing at him again.

"I'll yell at you again, I will." Threatened Al.

Ed obviously didn't believe him. Al sighed.

"Here, it's done anyway. Will you eat with a fork, chopsticks, or nothing?"

Ed looked at the ground for a moment, then hopped up onto his plate and looked at Al expectantly.

"Well, I guess that means nothing. At least we won't have to worry about our mismatching silverware anymore." He said the plate down in front of Ed, who lifted pieces of tempura in a delicate manner with his teeth, then flipped his head back and caught them in his mouth as Al watched admiringly.

"I could never do that trick when we were kids."

"Miaow."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I am very glad people like this. It will continue to cute as I can make it (well, not _that_ cute, because I think I would be sick on my keyboard).

Here is a paragraph of "as cute as I can make it":

Ed looked up at Riza, a smile in his brilliant golden eyes. With a shake of his head, his sun-drenched hair came loose of its braid and flowed over his shoulders. A brilliant sapphire butterfly fluttered in front of him, landing on his nose. He looked crosseyed at, causing Riza to giggle gently.

Yeah. Not doing that. I will make it cute, though.

I will not, however, make Ed rip Roy's pants off, as one commenter suggested. O.o Wha…you have obviously not been feeding your inner fangirl often enough! Anyways…

Ed flicked an ear as the water ran into the tub. Al held an arm over to see if it would steam on the metal. After several minutes of trying to determine the temperature, he just gave up.

"You're going to have to put your paw in the water, Nii-san."

Ed put his paws on the edge of the tub and reached one out to the spout.

"Miaow."

"I guess its okay. I can't believe how filthy you are; you got dirt all over my insides yesterday! You haven't had a bath since the fight, and that was two days ago."

"Rowr."

"I know we've had other things to worry about…"

Ed began to struggle out of his shirt. Al reached over and pulled it off for him. Ed set his paws back down on the edge of the tub and watched the water swirl as Al bent down and began to tug at his boots.

When he'd gotten them off, he examined Ed's feet. Both were covered in fur, and they had thinned. Al had noticed Ed walking on his toes lately (and his front paws as well) with his knees tucked underneath him, as his legs were still slightly long for this way of walking. His heels were still round, however, so Al guessed that he would be able to walk bipedally if he so chose.

He reached over Ed and turned off the water.

"C'mon, Nii-san, you have to get clean."

"Miaow."

Ed cooperatively stood up on his feet, allowing Al to unfasten his pants. He stepped out of them, and was promptly scooped up and dropped into the tub.

"Rowr!"

He made a much larger splash than necessary. Water spattered the ceiling.

"Nii-san!"

Ed gave him a toothy grin and then watched with interest as the water turned a dark black.

"Eugh. You really were dirty." Remarked Al, looking at the water. He picked up Ed's discarded shirt. "This smells funny."

"Miaow."

"And now the bathroom smells like wet cat."

He set the tub to drain and turned the shower on.

"Make you sure you get all the loose dirt off. I'm going to go put these in the laundry."

By the time he came back, Ed had succeeded in soaking all the towels in the bathroom.

"Nii-san!"

Ed shrank back as Al advanced on him with the shampoo. He poured a generous amount on his head and lathered it, then left it for a minute as he put the plug back in. When he turned back to Ed, however, he realized that he'd forgotten to undo his braid.

"You should've said something."

He undid it, then began to carefully comb the shampoo through Ed's hair with his fingers.

"_Can _you even talk?"

"Miaow."

"Well, you're pretty clear about what you want anyway."

Al sat back in contemplation, and Ed flicked an ear at him. Al cupped water in his hands and began to rinse Ed's hair.

"Maybe we should get a pet shampoo for you. And you're going to start eating eggs for breakfast. Riza said it would keep your coat glossy. Stand up."

Ed did so. Al winced.

"You're still covered in dirt, nii-san."

"Rowr."

"Is it really that caked on?"

He discovered shortly that it was. By the time it was removed, Ed was scrubbed a bright pink and looked thoroughly disgruntled.

"You should get used to it. Your new fur is going to be much harder to keep clean."

"Rowr."

"Get out of the tub. Stand on the bath mat while I go find a dry towel."

He went down the hall to the cupboard and dug out a large towel that was reasonably fluffy.

When he got back to the bathroom, however, Ed was gone.

He followed the trail of wet paw prints to the kitchen, where (to his horror) he found Ed on the counter, attempting to get at the cookie-jar Al had hidden on a high shelf.

"Nii-san, the shades are up! Can't you wait a little a while for your food?"

He could not.

"Rowr!"

Al rushed forward in time to catch the jar.

"Nii-san! Everyone can see you! Get off the counter—come back! Nii-san!"

Ed made a wild dash for the front door. Al went after him, hoping desperately that Ed would have forgotten that with the broken latch, the door only required a stiff push to open—

Ed remembered.

"Miaow!"

-…-

Mustang looked out his window with a sigh. He wouldn't be able to avoid work forever.

Then he caught sight of something that made him sit up.

"Hawkeye! Get in here!"

She got, with a very annoyed look on her face.

"Yes, colonel?"

"Isn't that Fullmetal down there?"

She looked.

"I can't think of anyone else whose tail is that long, so yes, it must be."

They watched for a few moments.

"Why is he naked?"

They both leapt up and spun around in midair, Riza drawing her gun in alarm. She relaxed when she saw who it was.

"Hughes!" snapped Mustang. "Don't come up on us suddenly like that!"

Hughes shrugged. "Just curious as to what the two of you found so fascinating. Seems like there's something going on with Ed that you didn't tell me about."

He gave Mustang a frown, who shrugged.

"Everyone's going to know about it now."

Riza looked out the window, a worried look on her face.

"Why on earth would he be doing something like this, running around naked? It seems like he's changed after what happened."

"I can't say I'm surprised." Murmured Hughes.

Mustang gave a single nod. "Fine. Get them both in here. We'll discuss further actions."

Riza and Hughes nodded, and both turned to depart. Mustang called after them,

"Make sure he's dressed!"


End file.
